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• Give praise

Try to make it genuine and specific to the good behaviour – and don’t overdo it.  Avoid saying phrases like, “You are incredibly clever” too often, because when they find something difficult, they may stop trusting that are ‘clever’, and also stop trusting the person who tells them that they are.  We don’t want our children to have the mindset that they have reached their limit when things become hard, and stop trying.

• Don’t step in and ‘rescue’ them

Avoid doing things for them, especially when things get tough.  If your child isn’t feeling confident about trying something and asks you for step in for them, how you respond will make a difference. When we are running late, it is always tempting to step in and do the task for them.  But this reinforces their belief that they aren’t up to the challenge.  Allow them to do tasks that they are capable of doing, or learning to do.

• Let them fail

Part of increasing a child’s skillset is learning from failure

This follows on from the above point.  The fear of failure often prevents children from trying their best and reaching their fullest potential, which can naturally diminish confidence.  Making mistakes, trial and error and experience are all part of active learning.

Kids are more likely to remember what they learn, and build on their confidence in the process, if we teach them that it’s far more important to try (and fail), than to only do things that you are good at.

• Break down any difficult tasks

Breaking down challenging tasks can help your child feel less overwhelmed and more in control, confident and safe.  Divide the task/assignment into manageable steps.

• Admit to your mistakes

Kids will work out if you are doing something wrong and trying to cover it up.  Talk to your kids about it and how you will try to improve.  You are their best role model for improving behaviour.

• Be specific if they do something well

If your child succeeds at something, ask them how they did it or how they knew. This assists them in developing an awareness of particular things they did that contributed to their achievement.

• Never threaten a punishment that you cannot carry out

Nearly all of us have said, “If you do that there is no more tv/gaming!”  Avoid doing this.

• Encourage them to express their feelings

Encourage children to express both positive and negative emotions, and help them talk through these emotions in a healthy way.  Allowing them to express negative emotions is ok.  The trick is teaching them productive ways of dealing with things if something doesn’t go their way.

One of the best things that parents can do is to discover what lights up their child.  Investing time and energy into your child’s passion is great for their self-confidence.