Helping Boys Find their Own Masculinity

Helping Boys Find Their Own Masculinity

February 25, 2025

Today’s students are exposed to a world where a man found liable for sexual abuse has become the President of the United States, and a social media founder who reaches three billion users globally has updated the platform to allow women to be referred to as “household objects or property”.

It may seem like these examples are too far from Australian shores to worry about, but the reality couldn’t be further from the truth.

In today’s digital era, young men and boys are searching for answers to their curiosities from a broad range of online sources and across their communities.

‘Himfluencers’’ or ‘manfluences’’ are having a significant impact on young people’s views of what it means to be a man, leading to a rise in harmful versions of masculinity being played out in our schools and classrooms.

When experiencing or seeing harmful behaviours among young people, it can be difficult to know how to react without further antagonising those involved.

Yet, if we as leaders in our community, do not proactively call out these actions as inappropriate, harmful, or even dangerous, young people will have no alternative role models or ideas to turn to when trying to understand how to become a man.

So where do we start?

Calling it out while inviting young people in

A big part of being an active bystander is calling out harmful behaviour when it happens.

This might include things like challenging misogynistic comments that may degrade or objectify women and others, or questioning a reliance on stereotypical ideas about masculinity that are known to harm men and others.

Although this is an important part of driving change, on its own it often makes young men and boys feel judged, shamed, or confused.

Instead we need to simultaneously pull young men and boys into conversations around masculinity and what it means to be a man.

Research shows – and we hear every day from male students – that they are receiving conflicting messages about what they should or should not do as men.

That is on top of what is already an overwhelming time in boys’ lives, as they navigate the complexities and sensitivities involved with puberty, starting their first relationships, exploring their sexualities, and meeting new people from outside their communities.

More than ever, it’s imperative that educators proactively approach their opportunity to role model healthy alternative versions of masculinity, while also creating safe spaces where their students can ask questions, share experiences, and explore their curiosities without fearing a negative response.

The more we can have open discussions with young people about masculinity, the easier it will be to identify and discuss harmful behaviours and their ramifications on the school community as a whole.

Keep the conversation going

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and toxic masculinity will not be dismantled overnight.

Educators need to sustain a consistent approach to starting and welcoming conversations about masculinity with their students.

While it can be uncomfortable to talk about masculinity with young people, particularly in regard to issues like consent and respectful relationships, these conversations will never get easier if they are only had on a one-off or inconsistent basis.

Continuing the conversation over months and years with students is critical to ensuring they understand the concepts and feel empowered to live their own healthy version of masculinity.

Looking at the year ahead, it’s clear young men and boys will be exposed to a broad range of messages about what it means to be a man in their home, school, and community.

Educators have a huge opportunity to help students differentiate fact from fiction, interrogate misinformation and disinformation, and embrace their own definitions of manhood and what makes them unique.

Most importantly, while international and local figures of influence share their opinions and preferences, there is a responsibility among all educators and community leaders to take an evidence-based approach to supporting and teaching the next generation.

This includes recognising the research highlighting the benefits of a long-term, consistent approach to respectful relationships education, while inviting young men and boys into conversations about masculinity rather than shutting them out for following the directions of harmful influencers.

Written by Noah Bloch for Education Review.